Funny Pictures Blog

span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"How was your golf game, dear?” asked Jack’s wife Tracy. /spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad I couldn’t /spanbr /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”see where the ball went.” /spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"But you’re seventy-five years old, Jack!” admonished his wife, “Why don’t you /spanbr /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”take my brother Scott along?” /spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"But he’s eighty-five and doesn’t even play golf anymore,” protested Jack. /spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"But he’s got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball,” Tracy pointed out. /spanbr /br /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball /spanbr /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”disappeared down the middle of the fairway. “Do you see it?” asked Jack. /spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"Yup,” Scott answered. /spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"Well, where is it?” yelled Jack, peering off into the distance. /spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"I forgot.”/span

span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out/spanbr /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out/spanbr /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese/spanbr /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a/spanbr /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”The fare was US$300. The Japanese exclaimed, “Wah… so expensive!”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”There upon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!”/span

span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out /spanbr /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!” /spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out /spanbr /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese /spanbr /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!” /spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a /spanbr /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. /spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”The fare was US$300. The Japanese exclaimed, “Wah… so expensive!”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”There upon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!”/span

span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out /spanbr /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!” /spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out /spanbr /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese /spanbr /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!” /spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a /spanbr /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. /spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”The fare was US$300. The Japanese exclaimed, “Wah… so expensive!”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”There upon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!”/span

span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”10. Instead of milk and cookies leave Santa a Weight Watchers bar and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds!/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”9. While Santa’s in the house… go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket!/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”8. While Santa’s in the house… replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to fly!/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”7. Keep a bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big fat Santa suit!!/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”6. Leave a note by the telephone telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wants to remind him to pick up a loaf of bread on his way home./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”5. Take everything out of your house as if it has just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, “Well, well, well… They always return to the scene of the crime”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”4. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute corrections./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”3. Leave out a Santa suit with a dry-cleaning bill./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”2. Instead of Christmas ornaments decorate your tree with pumpkins!/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”1. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa Claus to come and then say, “This neighborhood ain’t big enough for the both of us buddy!!”/span

span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”10. Instead of milk and cookies leave Santa a Weight Watchers bar and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds!/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”9. While Santa’s in the house… go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket!/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”8. While Santa’s in the house… replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to fly!/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”7. Keep a bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big fat Santa suit!!/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”6. Leave a note by the telephone telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wants to remind him to pick up a loaf of bread on his way home./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”5. Take everything out of your house as if it has just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, “Well, well, well… They always return to the scene of the crime”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”4. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute corrections./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”3. Leave out a Santa suit with a dry-cleaning bill./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”2. Instead of Christmas ornaments decorate your tree with pumpkins!/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family:trebuchet ms;”1. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa Claus to come and then say, “This neighborhood ain’t big enough for the both of us buddy!!”/span

span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”The telephone rings in the principal’s office at a school./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"Hello, this is Dunn Elementary,” answers the principal./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"Hi. Jimmy won’t be able to come to school all next week,” replies the voice./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"Well, what seems to be the problem with him?”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"We are all going on a family vacation,” says the voice, “I hope it is all right.”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"I guess that would be fine,” says the principal. “May I ask who is calling?”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"Sure. This is my father!”/span

span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”A few days before Christmas, two young brothers were spending the night at their grandparent’s house. When it was time to go to bed, and anxious to do the right thing, they both knelt down to say their prayers./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”Suddenly, the younger one began to do so in a very loud voice./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"Dear Lord, please ask Santa Claus to bring me a play-station, a mountain-bike and a telescope.”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”His older brother leaned over and nudged his brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"I know” he replied, “But Grandma is!”/span

span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”Three elderly ladies were at the doctor for a cognitive reasoning test./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”The doctor says to the first gal, “What is three times three?” “297,” was her prompt reply. “Ummm humm,” says the doc./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”The doctor says to the second lady, “It’s your turn now. What is three times three?” “Friday,” replies the second lady. “Ummm humm…”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”Then the doc says to the third, “Okay, mam, your turn. What’s three times three?”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"Nine,” she says. “That’s wonderful!” says the doc. “Tell me, how did you get that?”/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”"Simple,” she says, beaming… “I subtracted 297 from Friday!”/span

span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;” A child came home from his first day at school./spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”His Mother asked: ‘Well, what did you learn today?’/spanbr /br /span style=”font-family: trebuchet ms;”The kid replied: ‘Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow.’/span